Finding Your Perfect Ghostwriter Is a Lot Like Dating

Alison Kilian
2 min readMay 28, 2023


You wouldn’t settle when looking for love. You also shouldn’t settle when looking for a ghostwriter.

Photo by Vlada Karpovich:

When you decide to work with a ghostwriter, you are opening yourself up to a new relationship. You will have hours upon hours of conversation with this person. You will spend time with them face to face, possibly letting them into your business or even your private home. You will share intimate details of your personal and professional life. You may dive deep into your biggest regrets, greatest wins, and darkest moments.

This is the reality required to ghostwrite a book with impact. Even if you’re not writing a memoir but are writing about business development or organizational leadership (for example), parts of you will find their way into the manuscript. There are a few good reasons for this. First, you’ll create a more unique and personal narrative that draws readers in. Second, you’ll demonstrate your credibility by discussing your story. Finally, getting personal is what will allow you to connect with other people, turning them from simple readers to devoted followers of you and your brand.

A great ghostwriter will be able to get those personal stories out of you, even when you aren’t sure about sharing them. So you want a ghostwriter you trust. That means talking to more than one ghost before picking one to work with. It’s similar to dating — you will probably meet multiple people before you have a conversation with someone where you think: “This is the one!!!” Suddenly, the other conversations you had will seem irrelevant. You’ve found your perfect match; your perfect ghost.

I always encourage potential clients to talk to other writers, not just me. Investing time into the process of finding the right ghostwriter for your needs will make the book writing process itself significantly easier. And the book writing process isn’t always easy, so you want a partner you can rely on.

You wouldn’t settle when it comes to a romantic partner. You shouldn’t settle when it comes to a writing partner either.

Thank you for reading! This is a space where I share personal thoughts — an opportunity for self-expression that has nothing to do with my professional writing. None of the thoughts or opinions expressed in this blog should be construed as anything but my own, nor should they be affiliated with any company or person I contract with or write for.

NOW that that’s done… I’d love to hear from you about this blog post in the comments! You can also connect via my blog:



Alison Kilian

I’m Alison & I tell stories! ​I’ve been writing professionally for 10+ years, crafting everything from CEO blogs to bestselling romcoms. I ❤ a good story!